Crawford Kilian over at crofsblog/H5N1 has this from the authoritative source, The Onion:
It just keeps getting worse. Now The Onion warns us that New Custard Could Cause Worldwide Flandemic.I like the baked goods idea, but it needs to be carried out thoroughly, systematically and with precision. With adequate planning and proper execution the RCAF would then leave no tern un-sconed.
A recently discovered strain of custard could cause a worldwide flandemic, Centers For Dessert Control warned Monday. "We are warning people who come into contact with milk, egg yolks, sugar, and whole vanilla beans that they are at risk of concocting this custard," CDC director Paul Liddleston said.
In the same issue, we learn that Bush orders mass slaughter of bald eagles to stop spread of bird flu. Condi Rice is, we're told, talking with Canada's Paul Martin and Mexico's Vicente Fox about steps to eradicate the flying bombs in those countries as well.
Probably the most efficient means would be launching baked goods from slingshots. Tests by the Royal Canadian Air Farce indicate you can routinely kill two birds with one scone.