Saturday, January 29, 2005

Environmental red scare

The Nebraska Republican Party is scared to death. They cite the case of feedlot owner David Dickinson, whose 12,000 cattle each take in 25 lbs/day of high-grain diet on one end and put out 9 lbs of manure on the other end, producing a total of 54 tons every 24 hours. The result is a pile of manure 100 feet long, 30 feet high and 50 feet wide. Three months ago (about the time of the election) it underwent spontaneous combustion. The fire is threatening the health and welfare of the nearby residents (

The problem, as the local Red State fathers see it, is that they produce even more manure per day. "What if we spontaneously combusted?" one was heard to ask. Who would save the unborn?

Not to worry. There seem to be enough Democrats these days willing to fill in.